I found a picture of me standing by an airplane ride at knotts berry farm when I was about 2 years old.
For me, I have always been drawn to flying. I’ve always had the desire to just be able to fly away. to discover new lands. to meet new people. to see new things. to eat new food. to be in the new.
In about 28 hours I will be headed towards the new once again. tomorrow i shall pack my car up and wednesday at the crack of dawn, i will be headed east. off to start a new chapter in my ever evolving life. here’s to being the new kid again. here’s to discovering a new city. here’s to new roommates. here’s to working with new people.
here’s to the new.
little by little, its starting to become real. i have wanted this for so long, that it has just been a goal to work towards. i had a full time job and a part time job, i worked my ass off for months. most of those moths, hardly anyone knew. its quite difficult holding a secret such as this. i wanted to tell the world right away but i needed things to settle before making a solid announcement.
now, in just a few hours, the dream ive held so dear for the last few months will become a reality.
at this moment, im exhausted, excited, anxious, stressed, overwhelmed and a bit excited. im a bit of a hot mess really.
but this is happening.
it’ll be just about 3 years exactly that I moved to Australia. i guess January is just my moving month. starting out the new year in new places. yet, this time, i feel it is different. i must say that i have matured and grown quite a bit compared to where i was when i boarded that plane at 21. i was such a naive fool. i had no idea what i was doing. it was my first time moving out of my parents house. the first time i moved without anyone i knew. the first time i moved to a different country. crazy is a bit of an understatement.
now, i dont feel as much of a fool. though i may not know people out there nor do i know what shall be, i am expectant of the things that are to come.
it is time to live my life. to be in a place with like minded people. to be in a city where, crazy people like me, are pursuing their dreams. to live in a place with history and culture.
its time to start living out my dreams.
though i know it wont be easy, i know that it will be worth it.
i guess its part of having a gypsy soul like mine. my whole life, the longest we lived in one house was like 6 years. the longest we lived in one city was like 8 years. we have moved so much that i dont really know where to call “home”. and honestly, im ok with that. its become part of who i am. there is something in me that cant stay in one place for too long. routines and the familiar suffocate me. living in the same place, with the same people when theres a massive world out there to discover, just slowly kills me.
i need adventure. i need to explore new places. i need to meet new people. i need space. and it’s truly a need.
so now at the brink of my move and my 25th birthday in a month, i’m off.
to my dearest las vegas…although i am ready and excited for my time in nashville, i wll truly miss you. it has been a bit of a love/hate relationship. you are a city unlike any other. people from all over the world come to see you show off in so many different ways. i have met some amazing people in the time that i have lived here. people, that have truly become more like family to me. people, that have taught me a great deal and have loved me all in their own unique ways. i see many of my friends going on with their lives, getting married, having babies and pursuing their dreams, and i am truly happy for them. with them, i leave a bit of my heart. i will miss them and think of them often. everyone has a different path and its a beautiful thing to see how each of our lives intertwine in one way or another. some people will forever stay in my life and some people will just move on but they all have had an impact on my life. i fully believe that there is something to learn from each person that comes into our lives. every person has their own story and has some sort of portion to add.
its actually a lot harder to say good bye than what i expected. for so long, all i wanted to do was to be able to say that i was done and run as fast as i could yet now, i see the good that came out of what i first believed to be the worst thing that could have happened to me. i have leaned and grown so much. who i am today would not have happened if we never came to this crazy town. i truly am grateful for every experience and for all that i will take with me out of this long, insane season in Vegas.
‘tis bittersweet indeed.
but now it is time. time to start another journey, time to begin a whole new season. its not like anything that i have yet encountered. there are many unknowns but i know that in some crazy way, it will all work out for good just like this time in Vegas has worked out for good. if only i would have realized that at 16, lol.
and with that i am off to sleep. there is much to do in my last few hours here.
(if you read all of this, i do apologize, i needed to vent and this my best way of doing so)