I f*cking hate cancer

(My apologies for the language but I’m just being honest)

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 My father has recently been diagnosed with stage four lung cancer. Although this is not his first time battling cancer, this time it’s a bit more serious. This past week he has been at one of the cancer treatment centers of America. Thankfully I had the privilege of going up to spend some time with both of my parents. They live in Las Vegas and I live in Nashville. I have not had the chance to go back to Vegas since April. So now that they were in my time zone I had to go.Upon arriving I met up with them at the treatment center. As he was finishing his day of tests, I got to see the facility and meet some of the employees. I must say though, I am impressed with the center & it’s staff. It appears to me that they actually care for their patients.

As we walked around I saw all kinds of people who are battling this horrible disease. Any and all forms of cancer being treated. It broke my heart and at the same time pissed me off to see all these poor people going through this. Time and time again we encountered precious people that have been misdiagnosed and felt l like their doctors did not care about them.
So many people I know have had relatives or friends that have been affected by cancer in some way or another.
I feel like it just shouldn’t be like this. I am no doctor or medical professional but there has to be a way to end this madness.
It takes a toll on everyone involved.

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If you are one walking through this, know that you are not alone. That there are hundreds if not thousands of people who understand what you are going through. If you happen to believe in God (or even if you dont) know that He is still in control. That even though this is absolute crap, He’s still got it. He’s been in control since the beginning of time, so why would He change now? Why would He go back on His good character? I can tell you, that He wont.
Yes all of this frustrates the living hell out of me. I don’t understand, how or why. It’s stressful and at times I do find myself breaking down, but at the end of the day, all I can do is trust Him. He’s been faithful this far. He’s brought me through some of the craziest and darkest times of my life. I’ve lived through more crap in my short life than most people I know. And yet, it all works out. In one way or another. I have come to terms with the fact that there are some things that I have been through that i will never understand. But honestly, its not my place to understand. Its my job to trust.
It is so much easier said than done. There are times that i just want to throw in the towel and tap out. Sometimes, i just want to run away and never return, but…that’s not really an option.
I’ve had a couple of people ask me how it was that I was handling all of this so well. I’ve told them it’s because I’ve been through a lot in life, which to some degree has made me strong, but the real answer is my faith.

That’s all that I have.

This is one of the hardest things to walk through, and all I have are mere words, but as someone who has a loved one going through this, all I can do is say don’t lose hope. Hold on strong. Treasure every moment and know, you are not alone.

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